Freedom's Just Another Word...

I hate wearin' ties. I'm not meant to wear 'em I don't think. So damned restrictin'.


People say a man looks good in a tie. It's like a dog collar if you ask me. I hate havin' to wear one really. I feel suffocated. If I choose to wear one it makes all the difference.


I have to wear one for one of my jobs. I have to wear slacks. I work in a department store. I have to look nice. It's important that I look nice for the customers when they first walk in and they see me. It's important that I look nice while carrying heavy, dirty, boxes. It's not as important for the guys in the other departments. But I need the job. So I wear the collar.

I have things chainin' me to where I am in my life. I have debts chained around my feet. I have fears weighin' down my head. I have pressures stacked upon my back. It seems so difficult to move forward. But that's exactly when a man needs to move forward. You take those steps to get closer to your dream. A dream is the only thing worth movin' for. Happiness is the only thing worth standin' still for.

Gotta move and hustle to break the chains tyin' you down. Money is freedom in this world. We all gotta work to buy a lil breathin' room from the collars the world tries to choke us with. Gotta save your money. Gotta make as much of it as you can.

It's useless paper but you need papers to buy your way out of bein' a slave. Gotta bust your ass in school. Gotta get to work on time. Gotta do the best you can at whatever it is your doin' whether its flippin' burgers or sellin' cars. You can always do better.

I love western movies and there's one thing that's a common element for most of 'em. From The Magnificent Seven to Lonesome Dove it seems there was a helluva lot more freedom. All it took to cross borders was the will to do so. I could camp out under the stars on a patch of land nobody owned. I could dig a well and find clean water. I could find a patch of land and build a house.

But that land got settled. Lines were drawn. Laws were written for every lil thing. No walkin' your giraffe in down town. No whaling where there are no whales. No crossin' state lines with a chicken on my head. Paperwork to buy a donut. Payin' money for mostly clean water.

What the hell have we let ourselves become?

Where'd the freedom go? Why can't I smoke in a bar? Why can't I let things be settled with a fight or a handshake? Are we so afraid of the thrill of life that we rather have proper procedures for every possibility rather than the freedom to do as we please?

I don't mind workin'. I don't mind helpin' people out. I don't mind cleanin' up my messes. I do mind bein' told what to do all the time.

I don't want to have to pick from a list of choices that have been ok'd through some authority figure. I don't want to have to explain my every decision to someone that's constantly watchin' over me. I make my decisions 'cause I think they're right. I'd like to have some time in my life to actually spend livin' and not shovelin' horse shit to make a lil money.

I wanna be free to chase buffalo 'cause I can. I wanna be free to beat up a jackass 'cause he clearly deserves it. I wanna be free to help an old man change his tire. I wanna be free to travel the country if I want. I wanna be free to drink, and cuss, and smoke. I wanna be free to go to church, spend time with my kids, and kiss my wife.

I wanna be free to throw down my chains and toss my weights so I can move towards a better day.

Southpaw

I'm a lefty. Right handed, but Southpaw in my beliefs. I believe in lettin' people do what they please (within reason anyway).





I don't mind gay marriage. I'm okay with people dressin' like Lady Gaga, ifin' that's their thing. I like drinkin' and smokin' from time to time. I don't like taxes. I don't like cameras on every stop light. I don't like speed limits. I don't like people tellin' other people what to do with their bodies, whether it be tattoos, piercin's, or abortions. I might not agree with gettin' an abortion but when I'm carryin' a baby in my belly and a kid's threatenin' to tear up my favorite part of my anatomy I might feel a lil differently. So, I'd like to keep people's options available to 'em.


I'm a lefty. I voted for Obama. I voted for change. You're free to disagree with me on that.



I didn't vote for Bush in the election before that. I didn't vote for Gore either. I didn't vote 'cause as unpopular as Bush was I figured he'd get booted without much effort on my part.



I voted for Obama 'cause I thought McCain might be more of the same. Plus he's a lil old and I really didn't want Palin in the whitehouse at all. I doubt she's as stupid as people make her out to be but that still doesn't mean she makes great decisions.


Now, this damn health care thing has come around and everybody's actin' like we live in 1984 and it's all Obama's fault. Southpark had a good point in that "Dances with Smurfs" episode. They said sumthin' like they hate the president 'cause she somehow managed to screw everything up but still didn't actually do anything.


It's politics and bureaucracy. Obama campaigned like he was gonna come in there and make everybody's dreams come true. He promised an end to the war, a solution to health care, and an end to the economic crises. He all but promised Utopia.


Do you know the break down on Utopia?


This is from wikipedia.org: "The word comes from the Greek: οὐ, "not", and τόπος, "place", indicating that More (More is the guy that wrote the book that the word Utopia first appeared in.) was utilizing the concept as allegory and did not consider such an ideal place to be realistically possible. The English homophone Eutopia (/juˈtoʊpiə/), derived from the Greek εὖ, "good" or "well", and τόπος, "place", signifies a double meaning."


Of course Obama has fallen short and disappointed a lot of people. He is only a man tryin' to rework a system that's designed to screw us all. How the hell do you turn a mass rape machine into a flotation device for this new island of Utopia?


What Obama has tried to do is deliver on his promises. He's fallen short on that so far. I think it's mostly 'cause of the oil companies and all the money big businesses stand to lose from an end to the war. He seems to have done as much as could be done with the economy aside from stickin' up other nations at the ATM. He just passed this health care bill that a lotta people don't seem to like.


I haven't read it. I dunno what all's in it. (I've seen it. It's 1,990 pages long. I'm still skimmin' through it at this point.) I know we're all s'posed to get health care which is good. We get fined if we don't have it which is bad. It's s'posed to be more affordable which is good. But if it costs more than $20 a week it pretty well kills my budget and that's bad. People say docs won't work for their cut pay and will then quit bein' doctors which is bad. This seems unlikely to me 'cause if somebody spends the better part of ten years becomin' a doctor I'd bet he's serious about it and wants to help people even if it means he can't afford a vacation home on the beach, so I'd say that's good. Further down the line when bein' a doc might not be as lucrative as it has been people might not want to be doctors anymore. Again, I'd bet people that genuinely wanna help people are gonna do it anyway. Taxes are gonna go up to cover the bill on this and people aren't happy about it. I don't like payin' the taxes I already pay but I don't see so many people protestin' that. People find it necessary to have roads, police, and mail but not health care? Doesn't make sense to me.


But what do I know? Maybe there are gonna be those damned death panels where old people get turned into soylent green, takin' the census tells the satelites in the sky where to point the missiles, and Obama is the antichrist secretly manipulatin' the world towards its destruction.


I doubt all that though.


I think Obama is just a man. I think he's a man with a lot of weight on his shoulders and that he is tryin' to do what he believes is best for this country. I think he went in the like the Lone Ranger thinkin' he was gonna save the day and all he can do is try to struggle forward wrapped in red tape. He may not be makin' the best decisions for us and maybe someone else could do better but he's there now and we will never know 'cause we aren't in his shoes. When all is said and done we'll be able to see what he was doin'. But by then we'll be able to analyze his mistakes, and the lies he's told us, and the lies told to him. But like they say hindsight is always 20/20.



Obama is just a man and to put all those hopes and dreams on any one person is askin' too much. Those people that expected him to create a Utopia are askin' him to do the impossible. The people expectin' him to destroy the world are unrealistic. The truth always lies somewhere in the middle.



People's opinions and interpretations color the facts. You wanna know the truth about this health care thing? Take five minutes to google "read the healthcare bill online". I'll even do you one better. Just read this, http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fdocs.house.gov%2Frules%2Fhealth%2F111_ahcaa.pdf&h=a8824f2202147f601ea796221fba6775 , make up your own mind.



Think for yourself. Don't just buy what they tell you on T.V.

Busted

In case you hadn't noticed by now, the economy is a lil bit busted. Money is never important unless your the one that ain't got it. When people are strugglin' to put food on the table and clothes on their backs I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong.


It's pretty clear to me that I messed up after my first credit card. One is okay. Good to have in tight spots and the way nobody takes a check anymore you practically gotta have one. They can also help you build credit so you can get better deals on your house or car. And in the event that you need a loan, the bank likes knowin' you pay your debts. But Credit cards are sumthin' a lotta people got carried away with. Five grand in credit is NOT the same as Five grand in cash.


I had one card and opened a second with another company 'cause the second company was one that you were s'posed to be able to take anywhere. 'Cept you can't 'cause a lotta people don't take it and you gotta pay it all off inside of thirty days. But I had them both anyway and had used up 'bout half the limit on both of 'em. Could be worse.


It did get worse. I opened a third to help a girl I loved by puttin' her name on my card and she maxed it out in about six months. Not too long ago she decided that since we were over that so was whatever tied her to that debt.


Credit is all bull. My policy is this now: If I ain't got the cash to pay for it I don't need it. Nuthin' goes on the cards anymore. Once I'm done payin' on these cards, they're done.


It's the policy we should've kept as a country. Somebody offers broke people a means to live like they got an extra ten grand coming in, of course they were gonna try and live like superstars. Credit is non-existent money changin' hands and non-existent money is really only debt. Didn't have the money to pay for it today, why would I have the money in thirty days? But credit companies count on that. They don't make millions by handin' out free money, they make it by chargin' you to be in debt to them. Interest rates are just price tags on top of the debt you shouldn't have 'cause you can't really afford what you wanted in the first place. It's a dirty trick and I can't see how anybody can support the idea but a lot of people, includin' myself, have gone for it.


It's our own fault though. We buy all this crap that doesn't make us happy to stuff in the nicest homes we can't afford so that people will look at us and think we're sumthin' that we ain't. Now ain't nobody got much of nuthin'.


On top of a bad joke like credit to deal with, we all have this damned dependency on gas. Got a tank of gas last night and paid $2.68 a gallon for it. That's not as bad as I've seen it get. It was up to 'bout $3.50 a year or so ago. Long lines at the pumps, places entirely outta gas. Then it all dropped down to $2.50 and people were so relieved. But we shouldn't have to pay so much when I can remember 89 cents a gallon. I understand inflation but from what I hear the cost of a drum of oil hasn't gone up any but the cost at the pump has.



Every resource we have is finite so why did people think they could just keep makin' more on more machines that'd run on the same crap? We were already gonna run outta the stuff and then these geniuses give us fifty billion different ways to do it.



Why didn't anybody do more to find other things that'd run our cars or lights? 'Cause it wasn't profitable. Research and development can take years and you gotta pay for all of it even the stuff that fails. Ideas are only profitable when they work and produce more than they costs. So, you got only a handful of dedicated people workin' on ideas other than a new way to use gas and by the time these dedicated people get theirs to work there are a dozen other uses for oil. Now we have plastic, gasoline, diesel, all kinds of vehicles, and only a handful in comparison that run on anything else.



The worst part about our dependency on that thick, black, ooze that's become our nation's lifeblood is this damned war. Let me start this by sayin' that the soldiers are not at fault for anything. Their job is to do what they're told. They work hard and bust their asses to protect this country's freedom and its people as best they can. It's a hard life. The military has helped a lotta misguided people find their way and helped a lotta others find new opportunities and become better people. But not every war we fight is gonna be a righteous one. Vietnam wasn't. This one isn't. The crusades were wars fought in the name of God against the forces of evil to protect the holyland, problem is that's how both sides felt. They both got so caught up in their beliefs that the wars became unholy abominations.



That's kinda how this war on terror and in Iraq, and any place else that doesn't have a McDonald's or a Wal-Mart and the people's skin is a bit too dark, has become the bastard that it is. 9-11-01, we got hit. People died. Their families were sad and hurt and angry. Osama claimed responsibility. We went after him. Natural reaction. Somebody said he was hangin' with Saddam, talkin' shit 'bout the U.S., and they had W.M.D's. We went in there and killed the devil out of Saddam and still haven't caught Osama 9 years later.



We killed a guy our president's daddy got into a fight with 'bout twenty years ago and have tried to set up a government that we approve of in a country that sits over a way to make money. It's not a coincidence in my eyes. I dunno 'bout all these conspiracy theories 'bout 9-11 bein' an inside job. I don't have any proof but I know people. People do stupid and selfish things all the time. People use other people all the time. Politicians are notorious bastards. You think they wouldn't use and abuse innocent soldiers to attack an innocent nation to get what they want?



If we stopped this damned war there'd be a lot of funds set free and put back in our pockets. We'd save lives, money, and time by just ending it. People won't be happy 'cause to end the war without winnin' is like sayin' these soldiers died for nuthin'. Unfortunately, that's the way I see it and the way it seems to be.



I mean no disrespect to the soldiers 'cause you guys signed up believin' what you were told. It was a good story but not a lick of truth to it. I know it's a hard life and I'm sure people give you crap 'bout it all the time.

Truth is I just want you guys brought home safe and sound for your own sake and so that maybe we don't all die of starvation 'cause we can't afford to buy the food at the Wal-mart we work at in a newly acquired American territory of Iraq.



The economy's busted. I'm busted. And those lyin' devils only got so long 'fore they're busted. Truth will come out soon enough and things'll get better. Or we'll all be busted.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7X9wUXJtzc

The Talk

You know what talk me and my folks never had?



Yeah, that talk. The birds and the bees. The stork. The ESSS-EEEEH-ECKSSS talk. (Phonetics.)

This is the part where you use your discretion to decide if your mature enough for the sex talk.

I'll wait.

Poop.

Did you giggle? Then you're not ready.

The rest of you ready? 'Cause I am.

In my house sex was just sumthin' you didn't really talk about. School wasn't much better, they just say "Don't have sex, if you do have sex use protection or you'll die!" I don't wanna spoil the surprise but it's not exactly like that. I'm no doc so I don't have all the answers. I just have my opinions and experiences. You wanna figure out if that's herpes or a pimple, talk to your doc.



First, the technical: prolly shouldn't have sex. Sex makes babies you know? Babies make bills and stretch marks and poop. Lots and lots of poop. Sure they're cute as Winston Churchill and they have that new baby smell somewhere between strained peas and baby powder. But babies are a ton of work. I'm sure you've heard alla that before.



You should also use protection. Not just this pull-out mess that people do. Doesn't work all the time. Wrap it up. Use birth control. No tellin' what these nasty lil boys and girls have with no insurance and no way to detect it other than by eyesight. (Looks clean, does it always smell like that?) Even if you do have insurance, when's the last time you got tested for anything? Prolly longer than it should be. Can't always take people at their word.



But realistically, kids are gonna have sex before their really ready for it, 'cause long as you can get it up, you think you're ready. Sex is fun. It's usually good. And when you actually learn how to do it right (instead of scramblin' around like a couple of itchy monkeys) it's pretty much always damn good. But there are certain things kids aren't ready for their first time.

At least for me, there was this feelin' that the whole thing was right. My relationship was good, the girl was pretty, we got along so well I'd convinced myself that we were gonna last forever. I was 16 she was 18. There was no way in hell that was gonna work out. At that age hormones are goin' crazy and your a justified asshole. (Teenagers just wait and see, you'll look back on a lot of what you did and realize you were the dumb kid everybody said you were. I can't stand half of your skinny pant, straight brimmed ball cap with the sticker wearin', 30 piercin' havin', Jonas brother listenin' asses as it is. )

Everything you do is right and can't nobody tell you any different. Your constantly findin' the one your gonna marry and be with forever. Your so sure of things your gonna make foolish decisions like takin' photos of your pale, flabby carcass or mispendin' your money or changin' the way you dress or act. The hormones convince you that you oughtta be havin' sex with this person and that one and that one and the one over there. Gotta have a lil self-control and try to realize you ain't a hundred percent rational all the time between the ages of 12 and 20. Some people never grow outta that no matter how old they get.

Other than the hormones, your body's gonna go through some strange changes. Pimples, periods, hair in funny places, and all that other gross stuff. It's a lot to deal with. You'll feel like the world doesn't get you, your parents are annoyin', nobody listens. It's common. Everybody feels that way. Everybody. The jocks, the nerds, the cheerleaders, those weird kids nobody talks to. Your parents went through it. Their parents went through it. You ain't alone, you ain't weird, it's just a long period of awkward change. (Not weird...just awkward.)

That awkward change can lead a lot of folks to have low self esteem. Some people catch lucky breaks and wind up seemin' super confident, I'm not sure what happens to those kids 'cause all the ones I've talked to outta high school said they all felt self-conscious and insecure about most everything. Most every teenager goes through at least a period of low self-esteem or depression. This low self-esteem, whether people realize it or not, can lead us to do things we shouldn't.

Ever hear anybody say, "It's just sex"? I'd say that ain't such a good philosophy to have. Sex doesn't have to be about love. It doesn't have to be about commitment. That's not what your teachers are gonna tell you but it is the world we live in. People have sex. People have one-night stands. People have friends they have sex with from time to time. All these people can lead perfectly normal and healthy lives without a single regret. Others outta that same bunch might mark one particular night of passion as their single greatest regret. As casual as sex has become, or maybe as casual as it's always been, it's never "just sex" if it's sex with you.

Let me say that again. It's never "just sex" if it's sex with you.

To say it's "just sex" means that it's not important, it's no big deal. But if sex with you is no big deal, can anything else really be? You offer your body over to someone and it's no big deal? Your sayin' you trust this person to not give you an STD or to be at least semi-responsible if a kid happens as a result or to respect you when you see them again. Nobody wants to be used up and thrown away as useless for anything else. We ain't Dixie cups. We ain't just disposable things.

You should value your body and yourself enough to decide who gets to do what with it. A person that values sex, values their body, and values themselves. You decide who's good enough to be doin' the naked flippity-flop with you. Not just someone that's there. Not just someone that you know is interested. Not just the first person to come along. (Sex can wait, masturbate! Go Spartans! Woo!....SNL, look it up.) It ought to be someone that meets your standards, whatever they may be.

Remember girls, you're all princesses. Boys, you ought to be princes.

I haven't followed my own advice all the time but I'll tell you this is as close to the truth as I think anyone can give you on this subject.

Have some respect for who you are.
Have respect for your lovers.
Choose both wisely.

Hemingway

I'm ready for summer to start up again. This cold's just lingerin' around like a bad fart. (My daddy used to say that.) He grew up in Iowa so he's all 'bout the snow. Every year when it starts to get a lil cold he'll wake up with a big smile on his face and pump his fists hollerin' "Come on snow!"


I like the cold just fine. Been the first year in a long while I've seen real snow fallin'. I've seen it once or twice growin' up but it would never stick. One year we went to Iowa and I saw enough snow to actually play around in. I remember bein' amazed by a bucket of water freezin' overnight. It's unheard of in Texas.


In Texas you tend to get a cool breeze here and there. A lil rain from time to time to keep the grass wet. It never gets really cold. Though Texans ain't sure what to do with cold anyway. 40 degree weather rolls in and we're bundled up like Ralphie's kid brother.



I like winter 'cause I tend to be a lil dark and broody. Dark nights that come early along with rainy weather and foggy breath tends to be good for that atmosphere. Tall, black, jagged creatures stretchin' up into the sky and swayin' in the breeze. Monsters sittin' perched upon long, thin, jagged, fingers and starin' straight into your soul with big yellow eyes. Rain fallin' from the heavens like the tears of a thousand sad little angels. In the wintertime, the world gains a swirling razor of a sharply cold wind that'll cut through any warm cloth your momma would ever think to wrap you in. Its a harsh cold world at times like that. But like always, it never lasts.


Texas is famous for it's all but forever summers. Helluva thing, the Texas summers. Any Yankees readin' this mighta heard rumors but you don't know. It's hot. I remember openin' the front door to go out and feelin' like I was openin' an oven. 104 degrees and up to play in as a kid. People dyin' in the heat from a lack of A/C. It's a helluva thing. Me and my friend would hoof it in the summers from one end of town to the other, nearly dyin' both ways, just lookin' for sumthin' fun to do.



Can you imagine it? Sweltering heat. I love that word, sweltering. It just sounds hot doesn't it? Reminds me of the concrete of the street bein' so hot the clumsy kids were especially careful not to fall. Sweat pourin' down the brows of dirty, lil boys runnin' around in t-shirts that were as wet as mops. Weather was so hot you'd cuss it knowin' if your ma had heard she'd tan your hide. The weather made you not care. It makes people a little crazy, a little wild. It's too sunny to be stuck inside on a summer day with nuthin' to do. Too hot to go outside and fry like a fat slab of bacon. Maybe a trip down to the river for a lil fishin' or a swim. Maybe readin' a good book under a nice shade tree. You gotta do sumthin' outside to keep that wild side under control.

Everybody's got that wild streak in 'em. I do. Dad does. That side that's still primal. It knows your an animal, it wants you to know it too. It knows you used to belong to the trees and wind and rain. It knows why there's hair on a man's chest and fangs in his mouth. This is the part of you that loves nature as we're meant to.

You ever pass by your old house and get to talkin' 'bout all the nice things that happened there? Anybody that's ever moved has I'm sure. I think the wild is like everyone's old home. We were all wild once just a few generations ago. We know it in our blood. People like Ernest Hemingway and Teddy Roosevelt felt it. That's why they sought out ways to enjoy nature and show their appreciation for it.

We should all show our appreciation for the parts of nature still left, that bit of ever shrinkin' fight the world has left. All that green is goin' away and bein' replaced by concrete. The way we cement over everything you'd think there's no way the world was ever as wild and untamed as it's rumored to have been. One day, not far enough from now, we'll be plowin' down that last tree not 'cause it's in our way but 'cause we won't know or care what it's for.

Nature is representative of all the magic and mystery that's left in the world. Used to be that that's where all the monsters were, it was where all the explorers would find great treasure, and where everyday people become great heroes. In our myths and legends the value of nature has never been forgotten but then you walk outside and see streets, cars, and streetlights. The damned neighbors are so close you can smell what they have for dinner and hear every fight they have. We put the same damned coffee shops and fast food spots on every other corner. We cut down all of the world's magic and have tried to explain it all with science and reason. None of it's as good as what was there before.

Sure, it's logical and it all makes sense. A cement world wrapped in a tight lil bow. A reason for every thing that happens and just chance for everythin' else. It ain't the world I want though.

I hunger for them days when I'd have a log cabin surrounded by trees instead of neighbors. I'd have a fireplace to keep warm by and cook whatever I killed. I could keep a garden and grow my own veggies. Nobody'd bother me. And I could enjoy nature and live in a nice balance with it.

That's what people never figured out how to do, live in balance with nature. It wasn't enough for us to survive and live comfortable like with nature. Nope, we had to go and try to conquer every threat to mankind. Every beast, germ, or thorny bush that ever opposed us we saw an enemy in and tried to wipe 'em all out. There only seems to be room enough for one of us. I hope in the long run it's the wilderness that beats us out.

Humanity could use a lesson in humility.