Yeah, that talk. The birds and the bees. The stork. The ESSS-EEEEH-ECKSSS talk. (Phonetics.)
This is the part where you use your discretion to decide if your mature enough for the sex talk.
I'll wait.
Poop.
Did you giggle? Then you're not ready.
The rest of you ready? 'Cause I am.
First, the technical: prolly shouldn't have sex. Sex makes babies you know? Babies make bills and stretch marks and poop. Lots and lots of poop. Sure they're cute as Winston Churchill and they have that new baby smell somewhere between strained peas and baby powder. But babies are a ton of work. I'm sure you've heard alla that before.
You should also use protection. Not just this pull-out mess that people do. Doesn't work all the time. Wrap it up. Use birth control. No tellin' what these nasty lil boys and girls have with no insurance and no way to detect it other than by eyesight. (Looks clean, does it always smell like that?) Even if you do have insurance, when's the last time you got tested for anything? Prolly longer than it should be. Can't always take people at their word.
But realistically, kids are gonna have sex before their really ready for it, 'cause long as you can get it up, you think you're ready. Sex is fun. It's usually good. And when you actually learn how to do it right (instead of scramblin' around like a couple of itchy monkeys) it's pretty much always damn good. But there are certain things kids aren't ready for their first time.
At least for me, there was this feelin' that the whole thing was right. My relationship was good, the girl was pretty, we got along so well I'd convinced myself that we were gonna last forever. I was 16 she was 18. There was no way in hell that was gonna work out. At that age hormones are goin' crazy and your a justified asshole. (Teenagers just wait and see, you'll look back on a lot of what you did and realize you were the dumb kid everybody said you were. I can't stand half of your skinny pant, straight brimmed ball cap with the sticker wearin', 30 piercin' havin', Jonas brother listenin' asses as it is. )
Everything you do is right and can't nobody tell you any different. Your constantly findin' the one your gonna marry and be with forever. Your so sure of things your gonna make foolish decisions like takin' photos of your pale, flabby carcass or mispendin' your money or changin' the way you dress or act. The hormones convince you that you oughtta be havin' sex with this person and that one and that one and the one over there. Gotta have a lil self-control and try to realize you ain't a hundred percent rational all the time between the ages of 12 and 20. Some people never grow outta that no matter how old they get.
Other than the hormones, your body's gonna go through some strange changes. Pimples, periods, hair in funny places, and all that other gross stuff. It's a lot to deal with. You'll feel like the world doesn't get you, your parents are annoyin', nobody listens. It's common. Everybody feels that way. Everybody. The jocks, the nerds, the cheerleaders, those weird kids nobody talks to. Your parents went through it. Their parents went through it. You ain't alone, you ain't weird, it's just a long period of awkward change. (Not weird...just awkward.)
That awkward change can lead a lot of folks to have low self esteem. Some people catch lucky breaks and wind up seemin' super confident, I'm not sure what happens to those kids 'cause all the ones I've talked to outta high school said they all felt self-conscious and insecure about most everything. Most every teenager goes through at least a period of low self-esteem or depression. This low self-esteem, whether people realize it or not, can lead us to do things we shouldn't.
Ever hear anybody say, "It's just sex"? I'd say that ain't such a good philosophy to have. Sex doesn't have to be about love. It doesn't have to be about commitment. That's not what your teachers are gonna tell you but it is the world we live in. People have sex. People have one-night stands. People have friends they have sex with from time to time. All these people can lead perfectly normal and healthy lives without a single regret. Others outta that same bunch might mark one particular night of passion as their single greatest regret. As casual as sex has become, or maybe as casual as it's always been, it's never "just sex" if it's sex with you.
Let me say that again. It's never "just sex" if it's sex with you.
To say it's "just sex" means that it's not important, it's no big deal. But if sex with you is no big deal, can anything else really be? You offer your body over to someone and it's no big deal? Your sayin' you trust this person to not give you an STD or to be at least semi-responsible if a kid happens as a result or to respect you when you see them again. Nobody wants to be used up and thrown away as useless for anything else. We ain't Dixie cups. We ain't just disposable things.
You should value your body and yourself enough to decide who gets to do what with it. A person that values sex, values their body, and values themselves. You decide who's good enough to be doin' the naked flippity-flop with you. Not just someone that's there. Not just someone that you know is interested. Not just the first person to come along. (Sex can wait, masturbate! Go Spartans! Woo!....SNL, look it up.) It ought to be someone that meets your standards, whatever they may be.
Remember girls, you're all princesses. Boys, you ought to be princes.
I haven't followed my own advice all the time but I'll tell you this is as close to the truth as I think anyone can give you on this subject.
Have some respect for who you are.
Have respect for your lovers.
Choose both wisely.
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