Double D's of Doom

So, obviously, I'm on Facebook. I updated my status the other day to "May have just finished the greatest story you'll never read.", because I had quite frankly just a story that I feel is my personal best as far as short stories go. It was 18 pages long (too big to post here I think) and had to do with a man talkin' to a smokin', drinkin' dog that showed the man every fear he could have.



A friend asked me if it had any boobies in it and suggested that all the best stories start off "Did someone order a sausage pizza?" To satisfy this friend's sense of humor and lust for boobies I wrote him a lil story using him as a model for a pizza delivery boy. Enjoy!



Double D's of Doom



"Did someone order a sausage pizza?" The chubby, balding, Chewbaccalishly-hairy delivery boy asked chomping away on one slice already.



A sultry voice responded, somewhere behind two rediculously massive breasts, "I did, big boy. Here's a twenty and here's your tip." A hand reached from under the breasts to his crotch pulling the poor boy closer and closer into the fleshy mountains. The boy's eyes lit up like Christmas morning as the woman motorboated his face between the quadruple Z sized titans. It was the happiest day of his life, the day he had hoped for ever since becoming a pizza delivery boy. He wanted to cry but decided against it seeing as it wouldn't seem very manly. Instead, he opted for a giggly "Tee-hee-hee."



The boy's head became stuck between the massive mounds. He tried to pull away as it was becoming increasingly difficult to breath. Alerted to her prospective lover's trouble the large breasted lady harnessed her understanding of centrifugal force to save the pizza guy. She spun and spun and spun and spun with all her might until he popped loose.



She ran in jiggly slow-motion to aid her poor lover who had crashed through a wall in her 1970's-esque hotel. When she pulled his body through the sheet rock, she found him a mishapen, disgusting figure of a man. His neck was broken too.



With his last ounce of strength he whispered to the large breasts in front of him, "You've made me...so...hap..py..." A single tear ran down his face.



The woman lifted her gargantuan jugs revealing the two black holes surrounded by shark-like teeth under them. In unison the extra mouths shouted "SHAZAM!!!!!" and the entire mess of dead body, Chewie fur, blood and sheet rock disappeared into the darkness never to be seen again.