Heirs to the Throne

Hope you guys had a happy Easter. Mine was good. Spent time with the family and goin' back and forth to Austin. Always a good time in Austin.

Last night I went to see a movie with one of my brothers. It was good I thought. It had a strong plot and the symbolism and family issues were definately there in the subtext. Not enough action for my brother but it was plenty for me.

It was nice to spend time with this brother that I see rarely. We got to talkin' about some serious issues. He was right about a lot of things.

I have known all of my life that I have been very fortunate to have my father. He has always been willing to help me any way he can. My mother, despite being less pleasant, has always been there for me as well. They have given me an advantage over lots of people by just being around and staying together. It has made things easy on me.

I currently work for the family business in an economy where I might otherwise be unemployed. I was able to finish highschool and graduate with my diploma. Of my six other siblings only one of my sisters has a diploma. A few others got a GED and the rest never finished school. These days that can make life hard on a person. I was lucky enough to get some college in as well. I even got my associate's degree. I have never had to spend a night in jail and my record is clean.

My siblings haven't always had the easiest time of things. There have been money problems, substance abuse, emotional problems and jail time. A lot of these can be traced bak to the difficulties their mothers and our father had. Dad's been married a few times and has a very conservative view of women. He's distrusting of them. That's been his experience with many women, they crew him over, sleep with other men, can't be trusted. It's likely that that's been their experience with him as well. So, like a lot of relationships, there's been a lot of hurt and nasty things said in anger. Dad's not one to apologize and I doubt his past wives are ready to dish one out either.

All this drama has created a big divide in these siblings of mine. Some of us are very close, others have grudges, others feel left out. It's not fair to everyone. I love my siblings. There are some I hardly know at all and that's a shame. Brothers and sisters should be the best friends we have in life. It hasn't been that way and our parents and their drama are partially to blame. The other half of the blame falls on us for letting that drama continue on for another generation.

Instead of calling up my brothers to meet me for a beer I sit at home. I don't think to invite them along on a trip out of town or to a special dinner or bowling. I don't do that for anyone really. But if we want this family to succeed and be close we have to make that effort to make each other feel wanted. We have to let grudges go and take responsibility for our parts in what has happened. I've been a jerk plenty to lots of people and not just my family. I think my family is the one group I've spent the least amount of time apologizing to.

I'm the youngest of seven children. I am not close with all seven and I have let them all down at some point or another. I'm sorry for all of that. I'm sorry if our family has had differences that pushed anyone away. I want to hep you through hard times and celebrate good times with you. I'm sorry if you feel I've been treated better than you. I know I've been treated very well. I'm glad for that but sorry that I feel I don't deserve it. I will try to be a better brother to all of you.

If you feel our father isn't good man, I assure you he is. All of his flaws and faults and failures, he's still the best man I know. He is a king in my eyes. We are all lucky to be his children. However, I know he has those same faults and flaws and he still has failed us at times. He is just a man like any of us. He has a lifetime of experience that has strengthened portions of him and damaged others. He is not perfect. He was a long way from perfect when he was young and with age he has closed the gap significantly.

We are the heirs to the throne. What will we do with that? Are we going to do our best to be our best to our friends and family? Or will we let bitterness and disappointment keep us down? We don't have to be our father or our mothers. We just have to do the best we can. We have to be someone we and our children can be proud of. We have to give those kids a kingdom worth inheriting.