You Got a Right

I read somewhere, I can't remember where, that the left is defined as being concerned with the rights of people while the right is more concerned with the rights of property. I know that's a very simplified way of lookin' at the situation but it seems to fit. The rights of property mean little to me when compared to the rights of a person.

Not everybody sees it that way. There's a Governor in Wisconson, Scotty Walker, that isn't very interested in human rights. See, the government's been broke for a while, nuthin' new. Who isn't these days? His decision was for union workers to pay in more for their benifits. They'd pay about half of what most pay for healthcare after the change and lose 8% in take home pay. They didn't want it but after bein' threatened with losin' their jobs they decided to talk it out. Wisconsin needs money so they give up their perks. The state gets back a ton of money and the day is saved, right? Well not according to Scotty.

Kid wants to take away the people's rights to collective bargainin'. An important tool for any group that could ever want anything. Walker says the bargainin' could be used against the state to bargain for more money. I kinda figure the idea is to get all those workers their benefits back when the state has a lil money. The way it looks to the workers and quite a few of us in the stands watchin' all this go down is that Walker's just tryin' to bust up unions. It especially looks bad when they got the gov on a recorded phone call discussin' the pros and cons of usin' hired troublemakers to make the union workers look bad.

I understand we gotta save money but the guys that control where to cut are lookin' to cut in all the wrong places. Of course they can't cut from whatever's important to them. They're cuttin' down the union and groups that help women like WIC, Headstart, and Planned Parenthood Mothers and children need help. They are the the basis of the continuation of mankind. The rich bastards paint these mothers and young women as harlots and whores. They act like they never had a mother to begin with.

Fox news bashes the idea of a class warfare, say it's a tool of the left and that it's basically bullshit. What's bullshit is that this small percentage of top earners so clearly controls people in the government that make decisions. You got guys that keep fifty dusty cars they never use in a garage and starvin' people in the same city. Warlords that make billions sellin' or inventin' new ways to put wholes in each other. I hear that these bastards might even be sellin' to the people we're fightin'. You real drug pushers makin' money off of a product that gives you cancer while a substance that makes cancer a bit easier is illegal. You got tyrants that want to control who you can love. Yet homosexuals have somethin' wrong with their minds that needs to be corrected. After you make a certain dollar amount it seems that you stop carin' about the people your decisions make miserable. The closer you get to the bottom earners the more you feel every move the deciders make.

That's all this is. It's class warfare and the haves don't want the have-nots realizin' it. We outnumber them and we control their earnings. They don't want us organized, educated, healthy, or too well paid. They want us sedated with greasy, meat substitutes, and with just enough money to buy things we don't really need when we can barely afford them. They don't want us stickin' up for ourselves. Hard to be a bully when the bullied are willin' to fight back. In northern Africa people are risin' up against things like this. What's goin' on here isn't much by comparison. A few passionate people along with some hard work and protestin' might get the job done.

In Libya with Gaddafi, in Egypt with Mubarak, as well as in several other countries in that part of the world, all that could be done is bein' done. Mubarak locked up a guy for writin' a poem about how he sucked. Gaddafi, from what I understand started out tryin' to be the next Che and wound up some cartoonish supervillain that thinks AIDS is a peaceful virus. There was no way these guys should've stayed in power. Course when you look back you can see the U.S. had a hand in that. The country, just like many if not all others, is run by rich men that look out for themselves. It's how they got to be rich powerful men. Why wouldn't they do all they can to protect their investments? It makes sense but that doesn't make it right.

We all have the right to fight back. We should not suffer while a select few prosper. Stay educated and be aware of what decisions are bein' made. I watched a German film called "The Edukators", and in it is a line that says somethin' like: under thirty and right-no heart, over thirty and left-no brain. I'd rather have no brain than let my success be the misery of others. I am filled with love for my fellow man and I could never deny that. Course I'm still under thirty, may completely sell out after a few birthdays and a few million dollars. I'd doubt it though.

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-02-28/politics/wisconsin.budget_1_wisconsin-governor-wisconsin-protesters-budget-gap?_s=PM:POLITICS


http://voices.washingtonpost.com/plum-line/2011/03/gop_ad_distorts_history_of_wi.html


http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/tue-february-22-2011-anderson-cooper

One-Shot

Here's the deal, Kiddo: You get one life, one shot to do whatever the hell you want or can do to make your life as good and fulfillin' as it can be. Make it count.

People are gonna hold you down, they're gonna say you can't do that or you shouldn't do that. Sometimes they're right. You shouldn't mess around with hard drugs. Other times they're wrong. Nobody but you can know if college or a road trip is what's right for you. People are always gonna tell you what you do is a waste of time. Quite frankly, it all is really. In the long run, you'll be forgotten. No matter who you are or what you do, you're gonna die. The odds of really succeedin' in the few years you've got are slim to none. You live in a world where you can't make a move without money and if you reach into your pocket all you're gonna feel is a bum's leg.

This is all true. That's as true as it can get. Knowin' that truth, leaves you free to do sumthin'. Without the illusion that you or anyone else is always gonna be right or that anybody but you gives half a shit what you do, you can be free to do whatever you wanna do. Knowin' that it's all gonna be forgotten after your generation's great-grand babies are born allows you to make this life count to you more than anyone else.

I don't mean go crazy and rob everybody or go on a killin' spree. As gloomy as the outlook is for things in the long run you are livin' in your peak right now. You gotta take the time you got now and dedicate yourself to a goal or goals of your choosin' and do everything you can to push and make it happen. No more time to sit on your ass wishin' things would get better. Make every effort you can. Don't do what you're supposed to, don't just give the minimum. You wanna get ahead? Give me all you got and then some.

No excuses. Life's too short to think of reasons why you can't do sumthin'. There are a million reasons why we shouldn't do anything, ever. We know those reasons. It's too hard. I'm so tired. I'm broke. I have to be up early. I don't know if I can. Excuses are for cabooses and that's why they come in last. (Like that? I made it up yesterday. 'Cause I'm a bad ass like that.)

The only way you're gonna make your life shine is when you find a purpose in your life and you dedicate yourself to it completely. Doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Doesn't matter how hard it is. If it's sumthin' you want, If it's what you believe is your purpose, do it for you and only you. No glory, no change in the world, no money, no chance that anyone will ever even notice. Do it because your life wouldn't be fulfillin' without it, because it's what you want. That is the purest and best reason to do anything.

It's why I've decided to use this year to work my ass off to: finish a graphic novel, finish my book of poetry, get my first book published, keep workin'on this blog, work til I'm out of debt and a well respected supervisor, and keep my June happy. Not too hard, right? Find success in all things?

Spotlight

At a party, I'm the guy in the corner watchin' everybody. I'm a writer. I excpect you know this by now. And as a writer I'm a people watcher. I observe and feel and take notes on actions and reactions. I don't really become the life of the party. I'm not the one to be the focus and entertain. You wanna read my book, buy a copy and read it on your own time. I'm not gonna stop a party or a shindig or a revelry or a jamboree to read it to you. There's a time and a place for these things.

A lotta people love attention. Some people Need it. I know these days its gettin' easier and easier to become a celebrity. You got people doin' creative things and puttin' 'em on the internet and it makes it pretty damn simple to find people like Elizabeth Hinson or White Sails or Aphelion or this ol' devil himself. But then you get people like Snooki or that balloon boy or about half the people on youtube that just want people to pay attention to them and think anybody gives a shit about what they got to say. Making a clear distinction here, I know nobody gives a shit what I got to say. I'm a writer, I tell stories whether anyone is listenin' or readin' or not. I do this to get better at writin' and gain a lil bit of exposure. But hardly anybody reads.

Anyway, You gotta wonder what it is that's wrong with this generation that all it can do is focus on gettin' their fifteen minutes of fame. You got girls filmin' their sex lives to be famous. You got people actin' like assholes to get a lil money. You got all these young people whorin' themselves out to anybody with a camera and a dollar. To feel special? To be the center of attention? To feel loved?

There's one helluva pit in you if the only thing you can fill it with has to come from someone else. You ever ask yourself why you play the puppy? Why is it you need the attention? Can you stand bein' alone? Does the silence bother you? Do you miss someone? Do you need someone?

If there's a problem with any of that own up to it. 'Cause it shouldn't be that way. You should be able to spend a weekend alone and not drive yourself crazy wantin' sumthin', especially if you don't know what it is. I figure a want for attention comes from issues with a person's parents. Mommy or daddy ain't around and a kid can turn to all kinds of things to fill the void left by his absence or lack of attention.

I'm not immune to 'em. I like a lot of female attention 'cause my mom all but hates me. Least that's the way I feel about it. The hellbitch managed to work that against me. Not that it was hard to do. Now I'm broke. To say it's all my mom's fault would be unfair. I'd come to the realization long before but hell I still haven't done much about it. All I can do is realize it gives me a self-destructive nature and that I don't need the attention of anyone else to feel good about me. I'm pretty fuckin' awesome and you can kiss my ass if you don't think so.

Tellin' yourself that over and over is a good way to feel good but it'll never replace a parent's love. Just gotta stay on edge and know that you could be workin' against yourself when you strive for attention. Might find yourself in a video where you twist a tragedy into a political ad about how you wanna be president.

You don't need to perform for your friends for them to like you. You don't need the whole world to like you to be likeable. You're good when you have a quiet talk about your day or what book you read last week or even just listening to a troubled friend. Your friends love you whether you realize it or not and you should love yourself.

The Crown

As many of you already know, I got promoted. I am currently a supervisor. Not a high rank in the store but certainly not the lowest of lows. I started this job foldin' clothes around the holidays one year. A friend of mine worked for the company so I went up there to hang out and earn a few bucks. I was asked to stay on. They put me in customer service. I loved it.

I'm built for customer service. It's the area where people come to you with a problem and you make it all better. Lotta those people were pissed by the time they came to me and it's a great feelin' to get somebody that's ticked off and have 'em leave smilin'. I know the job inside and out. I've been doin' it a total of 4 years now. I've done things a supervisor or a manager would do. I'm sure I can handle the task.

The only thing I'm really concerned about is bein' a leader. Dad's a leader. I'm largely too passive for such things. I care if somebody's hurt or wronged but other than that I'm okay with everybody doin' their own thing. I was never a team captain. I was a boxer. Just me in that ring to take on a problem. I take what problems I see and deal with 'em. No delegatin', no pushin' anybody but me.

I suppose Dad was the same way at one time. He's not one to stay on your ass. But somehow he just leads as naturally as a fish swims. As far as I can tell it's the way he's always been. It'd be weird to think of him as say a 6 year old that was afraid of frogs and had trouble tying his shoes. I think of him and I see somebody more like John Wayne, George Patton, or King Leonidas. In a different world, he'd have been a king or a general. He speaks and people listen. He strikes fear when neccessary and is a loving father when that's needed. He is wise even beyond his 60 years. He isn't perfect. His plans aren't always the best, they change every 20 minutes according to the circumstances. That's part of being a good leader anyway though, I figure.

He's a good leader because he is confident and decisive and can adapt to change quickly. These are things I or any other bum can learn to be. I'll be damned if those are easy things to learn. And even if you can be these things it's also gotta be about who's willin' to follow you.

I have a brother that wants to be a leader and while he's confident and smart and good with customers, he's not very good with co-workers. He doesn't seem to respect them so they don't respect him. They will refuse to follow him when his time comes.

On the other hand, I find myself havin' problems with one particular employee. The others follow me farely well, so far. But one girl shows no initiative to get anything done and no talk or reminder or reprimand seems to help. She only seems interested in coming to work and collectin' a check. She's young, I suspect she'll grow out of it. Maybe not with us, but someday.

I ask my bosses for advice and the only thing I seem to hear is to lead by example. I say that's bullshit. I know, and have worked with, plenty of people that don't follow anybody's example no matter how hard they work. People that come to work to work are gonna work. Everybody else is just there to collect a check. I think the trick to convertin' those that just want a check into good workers is to make them believe not only that they can do the job but that you know it and want them to succeed. It's not showin' 'em what they're doin' wrong and how much better you can do it. It's showin' they can be just as good and havin' 'em believe it whole heartedly.

But really, I got no idea what I'm doin'. I just do what I can and make the calls the best I can. I'm already wearin' the crown, just gonna have to grow into it. Maybe one day I'll be thought of as a good leader by my kids. Maybe they'll wonder if there was ever anything I was afraid of. Was there anything I couldn't do? Hopefully, when I tell them yes and that I worked hard to be better and struggled to be a confident and competent leader they'll believe me and grow into confident and competent workers.

Those Damned Words You Say to Me

I'm good at what I do. I think I'm good anyway.

I write. I work. I do what I can for everyone else and there's not much left over for me or June to enjoy. I try to do all I can. Even then it's not always enough. I just can't be everywhere all at once. Even more so now with my department dependin' on me. I'm tryin' to be a good leader and all I get is responsibility with no actual time to lead or teach.

I'm still tryin' to promote to those that ain't readin' while tryin' to get published. Thanks, to those those of you that tell your pals about me by the way, I appreciate that. It's a hard life that Devil-Woman left me with. I still work a lot. There's even less time for writin' now which, for lack of a better word, sucks.

But you know I can deal with a lot. I can deal with my own death. I can deal with my failures. I can deal with a lack of sleep. I can deal with damn near anything thrown my way. But I can't deal with those flames the Dragon uses against me.

I don't need to be told I'm screwin' up. I don't need you tellin' me I'm not good enough. I don't need anybody micro-managin' me. Those damned words she uses that cut like a knife swung wildly. Just a wildfire of all the things that went wrong in her life, all the things I've done wrong, all her hate, all her dissatisfaction burnin' right to my soul.

I don't need all that. I know what I'm doin'. I'm grown enough to know when I've screwed up. I'm grown enough to know when I've done well. But it woulda been nice to hear sumthin' to that effect from her growin' up.

No "good job" or "well done" for me. Always "I could do that" or "Yeah, but...". Never has she read anything I've ever written. She called my drawin's scribbles. She's stabbed me with a fork. She's told me all mothers love their first born most and I ain't the first born. If I did something nice for her I could've done it better. If I didn't do it, there was a three-minute lecture about why I should've. I graduated without any comment from her. I got my Associate's degree without any comment from her. I got promoted without her sayin' a damned thing.

I don't need a mother to approve of anything I do. I'm grown. I do my best. I'm far from perfect. But I'm closer than she is. To hell with the rest.

She's too old to change. I don't have the patience anymore to try and get her to. I understand why she does what she does. That and a drive to do my best is all I need. Nobody's ever gonna be happy with everything I do. Thanks for teachin' me that. I doubt, though, that a lot of other people learn that there's somebody out there that isn't gonna like anything I do.

Taps

I read through a book called The Quarter Life Crisis once. Helped with some issues I was havin'. Was all 'bout how you gotta find a balance with bein' young and gettin' older. Gotta be able to enjoy life while realizin' it ain't all roses and it ain't all roses for anybody.

Somewhere in that book it asks what's the next undiscussed crisis for people of a certain age. The answer the authors came up with was sumthin' of a three-quarter life crisis. The crisis of watchin' your lifelong friends die and waitin' around to die yourself.

Hell of a thing, losin' friends.

Life hurts so much a lot of the time 'cause it feels like that's all you're doin' is losin'. But you always gotta know that you had sumthin' to lose. That doesn't make it any easier to let things go, I know, but it's sumthin'.

All the times you had, good and bad. All the love, all the memories, it all sticks around. Appreciate that when you can. Let yourself hurt when you can't.

People always wanna think they can't feel. That it's weak to be able to be hurt. It's not. It's human. We ain't stone. We bleed, we cry, we laugh. Let it out. Let the world know you loved somebody. Let them all know the person who died was a person worth bein' missed. Tell those that never met him that they missed out on meetin' the greatest person that ever lived

The greeks used to take about a week to mourn a person. The whole town would get involved and drink and play games and mourn in his honor. Now we take half a day off of work to go and have to leave again. That's not what a friend deserves.

When my friends die, it'll hurt like hell. When my brothers die, it'll break my heart. When my dad dies, it'll break me. They all deserve my pain when they go. Like a tribute of misery.

Eventually, it gets better. From time to time it may even feel as fresh as the day you lost them. But it always gets better. Easier to deal with. Don't expect it to heal nice and clean like a papercut. If they were important it's more like a jagged stab wound that heals better than you thought it would.

We could all go at any minute. No one is promised a long life and even the long ones still end. No fear to be had in that, just truth. Make the most of the time you got.

The Original Person

Nobody pays for creativity. Nobody pays you to be you. They pay you to be you but with a name tag and a positive attitude people will like and maybe a stupid outfit.

But Nobody pays you. Nobody is the one signin' your check.

Originality comes from bein' you and not bein' sorry about it. It's not always neat and clean. It's not always gonna be nice but if you're like me and you wanna do sumthin' creative the best thing you can do is be yourself.

People put on name tags and wear "smocks", otherwise known as ugly vests made out of shit material nobody actually wears, and surrender to bein' nobody. Nobody works for a lot of people. And there's nuthin' wrong with doin' that to pay the bills.

But if you wanna be happy you gotta be you. Make the music you wanna make, tell the stories you wanna tell, sing the songs you wanna sing. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

An original person is gonna have to work long and hard to get his way. Authors look decades before they get published. Bands tour and perform for just as long before they get signed. Artists make enough art to fill galleries before anyone appreciates a single piece. A few get lucky. Others are still tryin'.

But when you're an original person it often feels like you're meant to do sumthin' and even if you barely have the time to do it, even if it seems like a waste, even if people say you suck at it, you just keep gettin' up and doin' it.

You have to. You need to. Whether Nobody Pays you or not. You do it.