John and June

J.R. Cash (February 26, 1932-September 12, 2003)
June Carter Cash (June 23, 1929-May 15, 2003)

Its Johnny's birthday today. Happy birthday to him. Hope wherever he finds himself he's happy. I'm sure wherever he is June's right there with him.

I hope it's that way.

People believe in love shouldn't be separated. There's a reason why people live for it, die for it, and are consumed by it. I believe that if there was ever an example of true love, it was John and June.

I dunno that this is a fact but it was in the movie: young John listenin' to a young June and just bein' amazed with her voice. In the movie, they say he kept track of her through magazines and such til they met. After they met all he ever did was try to be with her. He ruined his marriage and prolly caused his family a lot of heartache. I'm sure his kids were a lil upset that their parents couldn't stay together.

But as a man, I understand Johnny. Sometimes what you want and what you got ain't the same things. Sometimes your heart is drawn out to other things. You can lie to everyone you know all day long but you can't deny the truth. It'll come out one day. Always does. There's no lyin' to yourself. You know what it's like to be with someone you know you should love but you just don't? I do. You know what it's like to be with someone that should love you but doesn't? I do. Johnny does too.

He went through hell and battled addictions. I'm sure some of the addictions had to be him dealin' with guilt and self-pity and stress from all the troubles in his life. Lotta times sumthin' enjoyable becomes an addiction 'cause that person's lookin' for a bit of joy in his life.

I know we all need a lil joy in our lives. We need a lil love like what John and June had. We all need that no matter how we might fight it.

I need a gal that'll love me for me. One that understands me, sometimes better than I do. One that'll take care of me when I'm sick, and even when I'm not. I need a lady that ain't scared to work hard with me. A darlin' angel of my own that'll take my guff when I'm teasin' and not put up with it when I'm serious. I need someone reliable and dependable but knows how to take it easy from time to time too. I need someone to share my music and writin' with. I need a sexy hot thing that's got a brain to go along with everythin' else. I need someone that knows that I ain't a dog to be kept on a leash.

I need someone I can be good to. I need someone that I can truly and fully love and trust. I need my June to have a lot of patience with me but a way to keep me motivated and workin' to make me, her, and us better.

I been through a lot for my quarter century. I've had things done to me and done things I'm ashamed of and embarrassed by. I largely hate myself and feel guilty for these things. I can try to blame these things for what I do but I know the responsibility is always gonna fall on me. I need her to understand that and forgive me for my mistakes anyway.

I want to be wherever she is just like I want her to be wherever I am. I want her to make me listen to her music 'cause she knows I'll like it even if I don't wanna. I want her to love my dorkiness when the rest of the world would tease me 'bout my comic book Wednesdays. I want her to sit through the greatest six-hour western the world has ever seen with me. I want her to drink and dance with me, even if I'm a terrible dancer. I want her to spend five hours with me so that it passes fast enough to only feel like one. I want her to make me try new things and help me get better at the things I've already done. I want her to be good to me. I want her to make me dinner and let me pay for hers when we go out. I want her to love me like I love her.

'Cause damn it...I do. I dunno why the hell it's taken me so long to figure it out. She's always known. I've done nuthin' but fight it. And she stood by me anyway. She believed in us enough for both of us. I love her. I always have.

I think I've been so damn scared of that. It's run me off so many times. I've been lookin' for ways out and uncomfortable as hell with her. Not 'cause she's been bad to me but 'cause I was scared of bein' hurt like I had been. But I love her so much my eyes are tearin' up as I write this. I can't think of another girl that'd make me do that. I know there are others I'm attracted to. I know there are others that are attracted to me. I know there are girls that mean a lot to me but it's not the same with this one. She doesn't mean a lot to me. She means everything to me. I believe that.

I'll be good to her from now on. We're Johnny and June.

I love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5pUHVGBuPg

Well, Isn't This Nice!

Read a book by Kurt Vonnegut a while back. It's called A Man Without a Country. Good book. In it he talks about an uncle of his sayin' a man wasn't a man unless he'd been to war. Then he joked about killin' his uncle right there on the spot. Vonnegut went to war. I figure he didn't like it very much. He was a POW for a while too. He'd seen all kinds of horrible things. Most of these horrible things are forced upon the world by men that think they can only be men by goin' to war.





In this book, Vonnegut also talks 'bout his "good uncle" (coincidentally named Alex). This uncle believed life was meant for sumthin' much greater than war and killin' and dyin'. He believed it was for drinkin' lemonade on hot summer days and tellin' stories and spendin' time with family and friends. He would do these things and say to himself or anyone listenin' "Well, isn't this nice!"





I dunno how to do that.





I should learn.





It's a good philosophy. Nobody really wants to kill. Nobody wants to die for any cause. Everybody just wants to be happy. Lotta people look for a big permanent happy. Unfortunately, as far as I can see, there's no such thing. There's moments of happiness. They come and go. Some are big, some are lil, some stay for just a second, others last for a long while. But you gotta grab hold of these happy moments when they come. Enjoy 'em to the fullest.





Soon enough they'll be gone and those bad times'll start rollin' in. There'll always be too many of those and odds are you're gonna feel 'em as much as possible. Everybody does.





I should take my own advice. I'm terrible at it though. I'm never happy 'cause I never appreciate those lil things. But the little are all that really matter. All the little children and the little flowers and the little stars in the night sky. That's what should be appreciated. Those are the things that'll make you happy. Those and all the dumb jokes you'll ever hear and all the times someone kisses you and a million other tiny things.



It's kinda like lookin into a night sky really. You look up and you see a lotta dark and its a lil scary and instinctively you know its incomplete. But when you can see all those little bright spots, little tiny specks scattered about like the happy lil moments in your life, you can look up and say, "Well, isn't this nice!"



Like they say, you gotta stop and smell the roses. Life ain't worth livin' unless you're actually livin' it. Gotta make time to smell the roses and taste your food and enjoy the air you breathe. If you ain't havin' any fun then how could you possibly be happy? Even when things get bad you gotta find it a lil amusin' when that Murphy's law starts comin' into play. You think things couldn't possibly get worse and then they always do. It's like a game the universe plays with you to see how much you can take. As long as you don't take life too seriously you'll come out alright.

If you really think about it there's not much in life that's really that serious. Work? I work at a clothing store where little old ladies come and buy ugly sweaters to ship off to ungrateful grandkids. I also work at my family's plumbin' company where earlier this week my 59 year old dad threatend to beat up a city official that's half his age (I have no doubt he could take 'im by the way). Money? We all waste it on a bunch of stupid crap we don't really need. $150 Ed hardy t-shirts, Snuggies, tooth paste dispensers, shoes you can't get wet, and taxes. It's all bullshit. Like we're lookin' for ways to waste our lives instead of just bein' happy with what we got.

All I need in this world is beer, good friends, good food, and some damn good music. I don't wear fancy clothes, I don't need a big house, I don't need a nice car. Sure those things might be nice to have but we don't need it. We've never needed it.

You know what a diamond is?

A shiny rock.

That's it and people die for 'em, people kill for 'em, people spend thousands of hours workin' and savin' to get one. It's a damned rock. That's it. Pretty it may be but not worth the trouble. Not to me.

My friends. My small comforts. My lil flashes of happiness are worth the time it takes to find and keep 'em. That's why I should appreciate 'em for what they are and not just overlook all those lil things.

I'm bout to head out for a walk and see if I can find a lil sumthin to give me reason to say, "Well, isn't this nice!"

My Inferno (Part III)

the story so far...



I was a sensitive kid dealin' with a lot of issues. Things that maybe shouldn't have bothered me but they did. My school life and romantic life were hardly what I'd call successful. Especially the part where I was mostly to blame for ruinin' four peoples lives by gettin' involved with a married woman. I'd become a self-pityin', hateful, self-destructive person. I thought I could protect myself and the people around me by buildin' a wall around my heart.



One day as I was gettin ready for work, there was an argument between the supposedly happy couple. He woke up, got ready for work, and told her "It's over."



She asked me to call into work, for about the tenth time that year, so I did. She asked me to help her move everything in the house to a storage shed or her mom's place. I paid for the storage shed. I helped her move everything. I hadn't eaten for two days. I was weak and tired but I packed up and moved everything in that house that didn't belong to him with her help. I tried callin' people for help but by then I'd cut too many ties. The few that would've helped had other things to do on a Monday.



She moved her and the kids in with her mom. I couldn't stay there since she asked me to check on her step-dad two weeks earlier. Me checkin' on him after he'd taken some meds he wasn't supposed to wound up with me bein' asked (by the woman I was still crazy about) to get in between her step-dad and mom when they were fightin'. I tried defendin' him from gettin hit with a cordless phone. He called me a lot of names and challenged me to fight him. I didn't. I should have. It wouldn't have done any good though. Still wanna kick his sorry ass though. She stayed at the concert she was at 'til it was all over with and then around midnight finally came to check on her mom. Her mom always liked me but with that situation between me and her step-dad I didn't even bother to ask if I could stay there.



I called a couple of good friends of mine and they let me stay with them for a few days. I probably wasn't the best house guest with my long hours but they put up with me for a lil bit. I greatly appreciated that very much. I couldn't do enough to repay them. They were there for me when I needed them. A surefire way to tell if you've got a true friend.



After that I stayed with my sister and her family for one night. She told our mom about me needin' a place to stay. Mom came to me askin' about my situation and could see I was as scrawny as I've ever been. With tears in her eyes she asked me to come home. I did.



Meanwhile I'd been takin' care of the family that had been uprooted. I told the kids bedtime stories. I played with them. I took them out to eat from time to time. I bought them the little necessities they needed and as much of the extra stuff as I could. I paid for her gas and mine. I had maybe twenty bucks to my name at any given time. All this still wasn't enough for her. She wanted some time to clear her head so I gave it to her.



A week later I called her. He picked up the phone and said, "I thought she told you not to call anymore." and hung up.



I learned later that she decided to move back and try to work things out with him and that she wasn't gonna have anything to do with me. She told me she'd pay me back for the classes she was takin' that I'd paid for and that she'd pay on the credit card she maxed out.



Crushed and broken and dead on the inside I kept movin' forward. I took my classes. I worked hard. I let my hair grow out to donate to Locks of Love. I donated blood about ten times in the year that followed. I raised a hefty sum of money for the March of Dimes. I did every favor I could for anyone I could find. I don't believe in any religion but I figured if there was such a thing as karma I could use it to my advantage.



It's at this point that I met a rebellious soul. We had two classes back to back ad we got to talkin' and we got together. With all the stuff that happened to me it's really no wonder she's had such a hard time with me.



From the start I'd been fightin' our relationship. I didn't want anything serious. I didn't wanna get hurt. I didn't wanna hurt her. I liked her. She's a much more amazing person than I think anyone gives her credit for. I care about her very much. She gets me better than anybody else. she knows this story inside and out. I know a lot about hers. But I never felt what I thought love should feel like. I could see why she should be perfect for me but I never felt she was. Whether this is because I don't feel much of anything or because we were meant to be just friends I can't tell.



She seems to think we're supposed to be together. She's very confident about it. She thinks I should just open up to her more.



When I started openin' up with her she suggested I might be depressed.



I honestly didn't think I was anymore. It'd been six months or so. I figured that was enough time to recover. Last Tuesday we went to a group therapy session. I listened to a guy talk bout his marriage, his girls, and his small business and the problems he had with all of that. I listened to a woman talk about her son, the only blood relative she has ,bein' manipulated and taken away from her. Both of them said that they'd been through nuthin' compared to what I'd been though.



I'm better than I was. But I'm still workin' to get better. Maybe now that you all know the truth about me, you'll understand why I've done some of the things I've done. At the very least I think I feel better about all of this.



Hopefully I won't regret writing this.



Thank you for takin' the time to read it.

My Inferno (part II)

The story thus far is essentially my life and the troubles I've seen in it. My naivety as a child. Switching from an Advanced Placement class to a regular level class. My apathy towards school that resulted. As well as my early relationships, including one with a lovely black girl that had to move since she was part of a military family.





After my army brat came a few relationships that weren't quite right for me. The first has been a very good friend of mine for quite some time now since our break up. She's always had great advice for me, if not the most delicate way to put it. I've always appreciated all of it, even if I rarely listen to her.





Next was a very tall and beautiful red head. Always been a fan of red heads. We had a few good times together but that's over now. We don't talk so much anymore but I hear she's doin' well and that's good.





After that came a frisky blonde with a boyfriend at the time. Never really bothered me if it didn't bother her. Perhaps that sounds bad of us, perhaps it was. I don't regret it either way. It was fun and that's enough.





Then came a young Mexican gal I didn't even mean to ask out really. I was jokin' with her in my insecure way. I'd never figured she'd go for it but she did. It was a nice few months together but then she started actin' weird so I was actin' weird. I think she wanted out but couldn't tell me that.





Now came the strangest one of them all. A young girl with no ambition to finish highschool, thought bein' a pornstar would be a dream job, and thought sleepin' with other guys behind my back would be an acceptable way to not get bored with me. "I like you, but when I have sex with a guy I'm never interested in him anymore." She thought foolin' around on me was a way for her to have her cake and eat it too, as they say.






After the pornstar did that to me I was fairly broken up. We'd been friends for about a year and while she had a very unique way of thinkin' I always figured if she wanted to see other people she'd tell me. Obviously, I was wrong. Dunno why I liked her so much. She stood me up more than a handful of times. She was as close to crazy as a person can get without goin' over the edge. But still under it all just a scared lil girl, maybe? Afraid of gettin' hurt? So she acted in a way that stopped people from gettin' so close? I dunno. I'm not good enough at understandin' people to make that call.





It's at this point that my life starts to get a lil F.U.B.A.R (fucked up beyond all recognition, I hear thats a military term, look it up kiddies.)





I met a woman. She talked to me about some problems I'd had. We hit it off pretty well. She thought I was good lookin'. I thought she was good lookin'. I knew she was married. I also knew she wasn't happy.





We hung out a few times. Her husband didn't seem to care. We started fallin' for each other. We slept together. Her husband knew. Even sent her a text to say it was ok with him. Ok with him 'cause he didn't care. He was fat, lazy, balding, abusive, and still he had her love. She told me repeatedly that she wanted to leave him. Said she needed his money to survive. Said she wanted me to move in. I said I wouldn't til he was out.









She begged and pleaded. And because I was in love, which is the same as bein' a fool sometimes, I did move in. My love, her two kids, me, and a bastard. It was a strange, strange, situation. I can not say what I did was morally right. I can not say that it was ever gonna work. I do think most of this was my fault. She wasn't happy and rather than work out her issues with him she was lookin' for a way out or at least sumthin' to push him to be a better man. That's her fault. His fault was bein' too lazy to try to be a decent husband. It's a man's responsibility to do more than make money and come home to sit on the couch watchin' T.V. It's a crazy notion I know, but on occassion a fella's wife might actually wanna be treated like a real person.









When I lived with her, I did as much as I could to make her and her children happy. I worked. I paid bills. I made dinner. I cleaned. I did laundry. I watched the kids while she napped or went to get her hair or nails done. I helped her with her homework. I gave massages. I ran aths for her. I did all I could to make her feel as special as a girl can. I even opened up a credit card and allowed her to max it out in 'bout 4 months. My mistake.







It wasn't my job to do any of that. I thought all that would show her I was a better man. It didn't. It made her husband angry and resentful. His behavior stayed the same. He complained I was spendin' too much time with his kids. So I backed off for a while only to see him shoo away his kids in favor of his video games. I saw him make promises he never kept. I saw him lie. I saw him neglect his wife. I saw him make stupid decisions with money. I also saw him make feeble attempts at bein' better. But he tried.







The problem wasn't really him. She married him. She wouldn't leave him. She wanted me there with her. She wanted her life the way it was. I got conned. I let myself believe I was right. I cut ties with friends and family. He loved her. He didn't know how to be any better than he was. He hated me. I hated him. We both wanted her. She ruined all of our lives because she wasn't strong enough leave him and couldn't make him a better man.







When it all blew up in my face I was crushed worse than anything I could have ever imagined. I wouldn't wish what I felt on the worst person. If there is such a thing as Hell, I've already seen it and held my face to the flames.





We split, but I still loved her. So I stayed with her hopin' one day she'd love me back. I kept doin' everything I had been doin'. Only now I rarely slept and didn't eat. I dropped thirty pounds. I had dark circles under my eyes. When I did sleep I didn't want to wake up. Sometimes I'd go back to sleep hopin' I wouldn't wake up the next time around. When I did eat I couldn't enjoy the food. I was physically torturing myself to display what I felt inside.





Inside I was bein' ripped to shreds. I'd see her laughin' and bein' happy with him. It killed me. I'd know they were layin' in bed together and I hated myself for stayin' with her. I even heard them makin' love once. Just the once. But you don't forget the sound of the woman you love sleepin' with another man. It's the sound of your heart turnin' black and hate growin' in it.





I became so consumed with my hate for him. I still loved her. I wanted to be with her but as I saw it, he was the only thing standin' in my way. I tried to be honest with her. Tried tellin' her it was drivin' me crazy. She never really listened. Or she didn't care.





One day we all went to church together. I heard the sermon on the hate we have in our hearts and that we should let it go. I burst into tears after 'bout ten minutes. I knew I was burnin' up in my hate. I felt like my own blood burned with it. I understand people don't like things but I've never felt anything like this in my life. I thought about what it'd be like to kill him. I thought about slappin' her around 'til she came to her senses. I thought about cuttin' up the people that pissed me off throughout the day. I wanted the world to feel as bad as I did. I didn't care whoI hurt. But I did. I did care 'cause I was never able to do any of it.





I contained all that hate and all that passion in my heart. I bottled it all up so I wouldn't get hurt and so I wouldn't hurt anyone else. I didn't care about anything except her. I still loved her and her kids. I still wanted to help them.





Still not done yet. More to tell in part 3.

My Inferno (part I)

There's no easy was to begin this story. It is my pain. For me this is like tearin' my heart out in front of you. The hope is that by the end of this that you'll understand me better and that I'll be better person for tellin' you.



I was born January twenty-first, 1985. I was an accident. My parents knew each other for about six months before they got married. After that they kinda had to. Dad's excuse was that he'd been in a motorcycle accident and couldn't have anymore kids. (I don't wanna wear a condom here's this reason why i won't get you pregnant.) I'm not sure if that's true or not. I know he said that but it's debatable whether or not the doc did.



When I was born my siblings were 'bout 13 years older than me. So even if I had siblings I always felt alone. My childhood overall wasn't bad. Things were simple. I was oblivious to a lotta problems of the world. I felt free. I was selfish. I didn't need anything. I didn't have any worries. I was a moron. Sure I was in the advanced classes but what the hell did I really know? Not a damned thing. And I was happy.



As I grew up the classes got harder. Life got harder. I'd say girls became more apparent but to be quite honest they were always there in my eyes. I dropped my AP classes. The math teacher usually gave me a bitchy look if I talked to my old classmates. It was her class that forced me out of all my classes. Just wanted to drop the one but it was all or nuthin. So, regular level classes all across the board. Was hard to say I couldn't hack it. I always hated it. Stayin' up til 11 and no one really able to show me how to multiply and divide fractions 'cause they didn't know. I felt so stupid. I felt helpless. My siblings that did know how to do stuff like that had work and homework of their own to do. I was alone. My parents just couldn't help. As much as they wanted to, I'd already outgrown a lot of what they knew how to do.



There's a huge difference between Advanced Placement and Level classes. In AP everybody was pretty well stressed, there was always homework, and mostly the students were mostly white. Nobody did drugs, nobody was havin' sex, everything seemed pretty simple. Level was very much the opposite. Fifth grade at that. Everybody was pretty nice though. All just kids but those damned circumstances put us a world apart. Rich vs. Poor. White vs. Minority. Them vs. Us. Haves vs. Have nots. Successful vs. Failures. Not that anybody was actually a failure but there were a lot more troubled kids in Level that needed someone to understand 'em. Someone that wouldn't just give up on 'em. Those AP kids got a lot of chances in life. Lot more than what the Level kids did. Least that's how I saw it.




By the time I'd reached highschool, I'd grown apathetic to education. I didn't care about C's or D's. All I had to do was pass. I slpet through my classes. Considered myself dumb. Already bottlin' up every disaappointment and failure inside of me. Never lettin' 'em go, just hangin' on to 'em. I'd toughened my psyche up so much by then nuthin' could hurt me. I didn't talk. I didn't like anything. I made a few jokes with friends. I did just enough to pass my classes. I stayed home on weekends and weeknights. I had already started writing. Kinda drowned myself in that. On occassion, I'd go out with the only friend I really had at the time. Just one guy. He had his friends but I never felt like they were mine. I was just glad to be interactin' with anybody.



I had a job. I was insanely shy the first few weeks I was there. I know the first couple of times I worked I didn't say anything to anyone at all. I remember one instance where I was tryin' to tell someone that sumthin' needed to be straightened. All I did was point. When they didn't understand, I straightened it myself.



It was here I met my first girlfriend. Wasn't that I didn't want a girlfriend before that. I wanted one. They never wanted me though. Through out my life I can't tell you how many times I'd been shot down. What I can tell you is that after a while it starts to take a toll. You figure there's sumthin' wrong with the way you look, or act, or with the way you asked. Sometimes it's one of those sometimes it's not. A person'll drive themselves crazy wonderin' about things like that. All the chances you missed, all the chances you took and failed on, all the things that make life unfair. Can't afford to spend too much time on it. Life's movin' on with or without you. Might as well keep up.

She was a short, dark haired girl. She was eighteen. I was sixteen. I could never have worked up the nerve to ask her out. She practically threw herself at me 'til I got this vague idea that she might be possibly, be kinda, somewhat, interested in me. We went to a movie. I wasn't even sure it was a date at the time. It was. My first.



My second date (ever) was very different. Same girl. Same me. Same movie theater. Different ending. not quite a Happy Ending but similar if you get me. I suppose that kinda messed with my pacing. After that I got the idea that maybe sex is like on T.V. and in the movies. You meet someone fall in love and have sex and sex is the same as love 'cause no one has sex with anyone they don't love and it's never a mistake.



For those of you that don't know, it ain't that way. Lust can happen in a day. A one night stand. A moment of weakness for a physical want. I believe what a friend told me once. When you sleep with someone, you give 'em a lil bit of yourself. It's supposed to be sumthin' special with someone special. I don't think many people wait for marriage anymore but that doesn't mean sex is just sex. It's always sex with you and if you ain't special then neither is the sex. But if you are special (which of course you are, no proof needed, it's just a given that you're special to someone if not yourself) then the sex should be special.

That relationship fizzled after three months. It became just sex to me. She was a good person. It shouldn't have been like that. But that's what happened.

The next girl was someone I've always considered my highschool sweet heart. I dunno if people really have those anymore. They should. She was beautiful. An army brat, strong, independent, and one hell of a singin' voice. Our relationship was pretty good. I cared about her very much. I got the chance to bring her home one night. I knew how my parents would feel about her before they ever met her. So, before she came that particular New Year's Eve I told my parents the truth. "I've made it no secret how I felt about them. Go talk to your mother." Dad said. Then he walked in ahead of me and told my mom I had sumthin' to tell her. So I did. "What are you crazy?" My mom asked.

Shouldn't have mattered to 'em but it did. What the hell does skin color got to do with anything? Mom always said I should marry a nice Mexican girl, that way I'd have more in common with her (like speakin' spanish terribly?). I was crazy about this girl so I lied to my parents about goin' to see her. I had to get my hair cut like every week 'cause that was one of the things I was often out doin' for 3-4 hours at a time.

My best friend never understood why I told my parents the truth. We had it set up that I would lie to 'em and tell 'em she was a friend of his girl's. I couldn't do that. It would've worked. They wouldn't be rude to her. We could've spent that New Year's Eve together. But I don't duck what I've done. I knew then that I'd made my choice and I was gonna stand by her. I did. I was with her for six amazing months. When my parents threatened to throw me outta the house I stood by her. When the people in our classes stared at us we stood by each other. Eventually, bein' the army brat she was, she had to move. That was pretty well the end of that.

I was kinda crushed by that. I didn't date anybody for a long while. Even had a nightmare where she was bein' forcibly taken away from me by my parents. I woke up in the middle of the night and cried at the thought of her bein' taken away. Cried even harder when I realized she was already gone.

This ain't finished but I feel like that's enough for one reading. We'll call this part one.

Sumthin' to Think About

Can you read this?

I know you can, 'cause you are.

Think about what that means.

Really give it some thought. What does it mean to say that you can read this?

It means you can read. "Well, duh." you might say. Or whatever the kids say these days. I dunno. Oh Emm Gee? blah. Whatever you say hold on to that thought. We're gonna come back to it. It's obvious isn't it? You can read, of course you can.

So be reading this what else can I determine about you? You can read. That means you've been educated. Odds are you're in America if you can read this. (They don't know me overseas yet. Pity for them.) So you probably went to a public school that was provided to you by the government and taxes.

If you can read this you have a computer. You're probably sittin' in a chair. You have internet. Either you have a job or someone that's payin' for the electricity and internet. You even have a lil bit of free time to spend goofin' around on the internet. I figure that means you're not starvin' since you're wastin' time with me and not lookin' for food or work. You prolly aren't outside in the cold or the rain. Odds are you're gonna have a warm bed to sleep on tonight.

So think about that the next time you say the world ain't fair. Know that it's not. Know that there are people in the world way worse off than you. There are people that are gonna go hungry tonight. There are people that don't have internet or decent educations. There are people that don't have jobs. There are people that don't have time to sit still readin' junk like this on the internet.

"Well, duh." Is that what you thought? Is that what you expect of people? To just have the things that you have? To be as lucky as you are? They ain't.

You're lucky. I'm lucky. Don't take things for granted. Appreciate what you have and all those frivilous things you don't get but could live without shouldn't be fussed over.

People take things for granted here and act like they can't get ahead in the world 'cause nobody gives 'em a chance. People have plenty of chances they just don't always see 'em or take 'em.

Be aware of your good fortune and make the best of it.